Day 2: Dino-Boy, Taming the Shrew(d) Hair, and Life Without the Wizard

Finley wore his dinosaur hat to the babysitter's house today. He's been wearing it everywhere. My parenting philosophy for my Dino-boy goes thusly: he'll one day figure out that he's not, in fact, a dinosaur. Some kid or adult will undoubtedly be having a bad day [probably caused by their father who didn't allow them to be a dinosaur] and feel the need to rip that cold hard truth from his poor heart and it's not going to be me. So, I let him wear his dino-hat whenever he wants. It's actually the top to a costume my wife made for him a few years ago. It looks like this: 

We have only been without my wife and youngest son, Harry, since Saturday. They are on a trek to Romania to test Harry's wizardry skills and to visit family. They'll return to us in 10 more [long] days. Until then, our stated family goal is "Survival is love. Love is survival." I've talked to them about putting each other's needs before our own and how we help each other when things are different [like when we're surviving without something really, really important to us.] If this mantra doesn't work out, our goal will simply evolve to: SURVIVE: EVERYONE FOR YOURSELVES! RUN!!! SAVE YOURSELVES!!!! WE'VE BEEN ABANDONED!!!!!! 

I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that, though. 

My alarm went off earlier today than normal. There are few things that I dislike more than being late, so I compensated by getting up well before the sun rose. My daughter tried to convince me that it was still night. I told her, "With that attitude, it is still night." No one really knew what I meant by that comment [including myself], but they didn't really question it either so I turned around confidently and went to make breakfast. It was clearly a moment that I needed to retort with something parental, but I'm not always adept at coming up with those bits of sage wisdom. I am learning that a key to successful parenting is sounding confident in bad advice and axioms. It doesn't necessarily have to make any sense, as long as it sounds true-ish and is said with the confidence of a brilliant scientist. "Make your bed or the trolls under your bed will eat your blankets." "Eat all of your food or I'll give it to the brother we've got locked in the basement that you've never met because he didn't eat his food." I'll probably never be asked to write a parenting book, though. 

Dino-boy started the day crying. He has yet to figure out that his brother will not be back anytime soon. He went to The Wizard's bedroom and found no occupants. Explaining the concept of time to a 3-year old is quite the exercise.

ME: Mommy and the Wizard won't be back for 10 more days. 
DINO-BOY: Oh. So, we'll all go grocery shopping tonight?
ME: Wait. Are you serious? 10 days. 
DINO-BOY: Is that soon? Or later? 
ME: It's 10 days. Not soon. A week from Wednesday.
DINO-BOY: So, they're coming back on Wednesday? 
ME: No. A week FROM Wednesday.

Tonight before bed, we're going to sit down and go over the intricacies of the Gregorian calendar. He'll have some fun facts to impress his friends at preschool on Tuesday. Either that, or he'll be crying on Wednesday when he finds out that his mom and brother haven't returned from the land-o-Romans. BUT, DAD, YOU SAID THEY'D BE BACK ON WEDNESDAY!! Nora and I will then take a vote to see if he'll continue in our newly formed familial alliance or not. Understanding the nuances of the Gregorian calendar is a must. 

Speaking of my lovely Nora, we strategically got her hair cut in a more management hair style before my wife left. We know my limits. Braiding hair is just not happening for me. Prior to her new do, she was sporting her best impression of Rapunzel. Trying to do something with her Rapunzel hair would be like starting out with a marathon after my lung surgery. It just wouldn't be prudent. You have to know your limitations as a parent, folks. Now she just looks like a miniature version of my wife. 

Something happened to my daughter over night when I wasn't looking. I haven't decided what to make of it. Either she: 

1. survived a tornado
2. had a run-in with a vicious hair-messing badger, or...
3. was the victim of a weird robbery where the perp didn't take anything but gave noogies to the only 5-year old in the house. 

Her hair was a mess. I asked her if she knew how to fix it. She said that she did. But, here's the thing; she lied. Her attempts to fix her own hair was met with futility and disgust (on Dino-boy's face and my own.) I grabbed the comb that looks like it came from a horror movie and started going to town. There was tears and gnashing of teeth, possibly even some blood on the scalp. Dino-boy went to his room and changed into some sackcloth to denote the mourning that should happen for the fallen hair. But, after a few minutes, the chaos was starting to get tamed. The knots were out, the tears were dried, and we still weren't late for school. 

One problem. Though the hair was straight-ish and the wildebeest previously living on her head was freshly slaughtered, there was still a decent amount of renegade strands of hair that went rogue. They floated towards the ceiling and mocked the comb that I just used to destroy their will. I did the only thing I knew how to do to manage unruly hair. I went to get some of my "products." Now, we should probably get this out of the way; I am a man that uses a decent amount of hair products. Most of them are "old" hair products that your grandfather probably swears by. I love them as well. They work. Save your modern-man Crew gel for the next guy, I'm using Pinaud's Clubman and you can tell by the smell. If you look through my medicine cabinet, you'll also find some hair tonics that work masterfully at adding a bit of character to an uninspiring head of hair. 

I reached for the hair tonic. Nora looked at me with a sense of panic. 

NORA: Daddy, is this what mommy uses in her hair?
ME: No. Mommy's not cool enough to use this product. Only really cool people use it. Plus, she's not a huge fan of the awesome smell. 
NORA: Will it make me smell like a man?
ME: No. It will make you smell awesome. Like some men do. But, it will also make those lame stragglers in your hair be tamed. I'm out of other solutions, sweetheart. It HAS to be this way. 
NORA [resigned to the failure of this moment]: Ok. 

It ended up looking well and not smelling like a man. We got to school on time even. 

Tonight I will pick up my two Muggles and we'll attempt to grocery shop. So far, we're all missing my wife something fierce, but we're surviving. After all, survival is love. Love is survival. For now. 

My Favorites of 2013

For those curious about what helped form and move me in 2013, here is a list of my favorite things. I hope you enjoy!

SONGS

It was a really good year for music. Highly anticipated albums from Josh Ritter, Arcade Fire, Shad, Typhoon, and Volcano Choir (Justin Vernon's side project) were released. Some new artists emerged on to the scene as well. Among my favorites are the Olms, the Lone Bellow, Jake Bugg, and Air Review. I've tried to limit my choices to no more than ten when applicable.

Favorite Songs of 2013

1. Song for Zula by Phosphorescent [link]
   "Yeah then I saw love disfigure me into something I am not recognizing..."
2. Weight by Mikal Cronin [link]
   "No, be bolder, golden light for miles, sing for love in colder portions of my mind, I'm not ready for the weight again..."
3. Artificial Light by Typhoon [link]
   "But I have no other place to keep you safe, but in my shaky ever shaking melody..."
4. Love Don't Go by the Family Crest [link]
   "Oh, old love, you wanna step outside, find a place to run and hide?"
5. Broken by Jake Bugg [link]
   "I'm waiting for you for I'm broken down..."
6. Light by Sleeping at Last [link]
   "I’ll give you everything I have. I’ll teach you everything I know. I promise I’ll do better."
7. Ithaca by Tyler Lyle [link]
   "In a beautiful dream you were walking. In the city by the sea and you wanted me like I wanted you I wish that were true..."
8. America's Son by Air Review [link]
   "Would the poor be on my mind? Would the wretchedness I try to hide carry me away, would I be saved?"
9. My Love Took Me Down to the River to Silence Me by Little Green Cars [link]
   "So long you're gone just like I always knew but I'm still here waiting for you..."
10. The Mute by Radical Face [link]
    "And through them days I was a ghost atop my chair. My dad considered me a cross he had to bear and in my head I'd sing apologies and stare..."

To listen to the rest of my favorite songs from 2013, click on this Spotify list. There are many, many more songs that I've enjoyed this year.

ALBUMS

My favorite songs often differ from my favorite albums, though some collaboration may exist. There are some albums that I really enjoy from start-to-finish but don't really have a stand-out track on them. Yet, it's still one of my favorite albums. Conversely, there are some songs that locate themselves on albums that are just terrible. If not for one great song, the album would be terrible. So, the following is a list of my favorite albums of the year [in order]:

1. Typhoon: White Lighter
   Typhoon is an indie symphony of terrific melodies, dynamic instrumentation, and aggressively cynical yet hopeful lyrics. And I love everything about it. This may be my favorite album of the last five years even. I was able to see Typhoon in Chicago in September and they were equally great in concert.
2. Volcano Choir: Repave
   I'm a big fan of Justin Vernon. Not only is an accomplished front man and songwriter of Bon Iver, he's also a pretty great producer. He produced one of my favorite albums of last year; Kathleen Edwards' Voyageur. While the similarities to Bon Iver are fairly labeled against Volcano Choir, it's no doubt that through a few listens that this is something different. It's indie rock at its finest. 
3. Radical Face: The Family Tree: The Branches
   I first fell in love with Radical Face after the 2007 release of "Ghosts." I love Ben Cooper's voice, his percussive use of instruments, and the poetry he weaves throughout his songs. Beautiful and lovely stuff. 
4. Caitlin Rose: The Stand-In
   This album harkens back to the wonderful country and western singers that predates my time. Rose is like a more talented Zooey Deschanel [don't shoot me, oh violent She & Him'ers, because it's true.] I'm surprised at how under-the-radar that she's stayed, especially since this is her second great album.
5. Hey Marseilles: Lines We Trace
   It's a band composed of a gentle and subdued vocals, an often prominent accordion player, and flowing violin and cello parts, among other things. You can tell that the band isn't just influenced by modern indie rock, but classically trained musicians that light up other worlds known to modern listeners. This all results in songs of depth in an increasingly shallow indie-rock world. 
6. Josh Ritter: The Beasts in the Track
   I'm a big Josh Ritter fan. His music has been foundational to my emotional development over the years. Perhaps I'm being a bit too overdramatic, but still. He's been a constant in my headphones for quite some time. He's one of the greatest singer-songwriters of the modern generation. He writes of love, loss, war, peace, and everything in between. He's worth a listen.
7. Jake Bugg: Jake Bugg
   I'm in love with 50's and 60's rock and roll. If you've got to the 70's and 80's, then you've went too far for me. Jake Bugg was 17 or 18 years old when he recorded his self-titled debut album. Yet, his vocals, song structures, and lyrics are reminders of the great songwriters from your grandparents age. Hipster-warning: This album is probably best listened to on vinyl.
8. Keaton Henson: Birthdays
   Henson is reportedly a slightly reclusive sufferer of stage fright. Most of his performances are in small art galleries, clubs, and/or museums. He sings in a falsetto in many of his folk-rock songs, yet it comes together in beautiful ways. His music is fragile and delicate, but stands strong in the face of whatever he's writing against... love lost, painful pondering, and lies being told. 
9. The National: Trouble Will Find Me
   The National's albums are meant to be dissected. They are meant to be enjoyed all the way through, from the first beat to the last lyric. When I was first listening to their latest album, I liked some of the songs but nothing really jumped out at me. Admittedly, I have a very high standard for one of my favorite bands. However, when I let the entire album play over and over again, I started to understand the flow and appreciated it in a new light. I really, really like this album.
10. Mikal Cronin: MKII
    Mikal Cronin came out of nowhere to me. I think he was one of the great Spotify recommendations that I followed throughout the year. For those more versed in indie music, he's not new. I've loved listening to this indie rock album. It's well-thought, not overly produced, and refreshing in a crowded indie-rock genre. 

Other albums I've enjoyed but didn't make the top-10: Air Review [Low Wishes], Arcade Fire [Arcade Fire], Bombadil [Metrics of Affection], Brooke Waggoner [Originator], Evening Hymns [Spectral Dusk], Five Iron Frenzy [Engines of a Million Plots], Foy Vance [Joy of Nothing], Frightened Rabbit [Pedestrian Verse], Leagues [You Belong Here], Lily Kershaw [Midnight in the Garden], Little Green Cars [Absolute Zero], The Lone Bellow [The Lone Bellow], Mandolin Orange [This Side of Jordan], Noah & the Whale [Heart of Nowhere], The Olms [The Olms], Penny & Sparrow [Tenboom], Phosphorescent [Muchacho], Shad [Flying Colours], Twenty One Pilots [Vessel], Villagers [Awayland], 

FILM

The following list will likely be lame. I didn't watch many films this year for whatever reason. There are some that I enjoyed, however. Notably absent from the list are the critically acclaimed films from this year that I haven't had time to see yet: namely 12 Years a Slave, Her, Gravity, and Captain Phillips among others.

Favorite Films I Watched in 2013

1. Of Gods and Men [trailer]
   This is cheating as it was originally released in 2010. But, I just watched it this year and was profoundly affected be it. It tells the story of a group of monks living peacefully during the 1996 Algerian Civil War. It can be slow at times, but that's part of the monastic feel that appealed to me. Watch this film. 
2. Undefeated [trailer]
   I'm cheating again. This was released in 2011 but I watched it on Netflix just this year. It's still on Netflix for those that want to enjoy it. The summary on wiki:  The film documents the struggles of a high school football team, the Manassas Tigers of Memphis, as they attempt a winning season after years of losses. The team is turned around by coach Bill Courtney, who helps form a group of young men into an academic and athletic team.
3. Iron Man 3 [trailer]
   I loved it. RDJ's supreme confidence as Tony Stark is just so much fun to watch. 
4. Sound City [trailer]
   My favorite rock-n-roller David Eric Grohl directed a documentary about the famous-but-now-defunct recording studio Sound City. Grohl's own band [a little known band from Seattle called Nirvana] recorded at Sound City in 1991. But, it's as much about history as it is about the signs of the digital times and the future repercussions of digital progression and advancement. 
5. Warm Bodies [trailer]
   My guilty pleasure choice. The inner-teenager within us all loves a good young adult fiction piece from time to time. Warm Bodies is funny, creative, and tells the story of someone coming back alive from the chaotic mess of depression... or is it back alive from being a zombie? Or is it a modern retelling of Romeo and Juliet? The zombie genre is overplayed, sure. But this was fun. 

BOOKS

Like my film list, I will modify my "favorite of..." list for books to include the books that I've read for the first time this year. There are so many books that I never get a chance to read the year they are released. I want this list to include those that I've read for the first time this year even if they were released in 2012 or before. Most of the books I read are to help prepare for sermon series or education writing. Some were assigned by a professor, some were recommending by friends, and some were just found by chance. Here's a list of my 10 favorite books that I read for the first time this year:

1. Gilead: A Novel by Marilynne Robinson [Amazon]
   Someone check my temperature: a Congregationalist Calvinist has the #1 book on my list this year. But rarely have I fell in love with literary characters as much as I did in the Gilead. I typically don't read a ton of fiction, but Robinson's talent at writing fiction is indisputable. I absolutely loved this book. It was written in 2004.
2. Come Out My People!: God's Call Out of Empire in the Bible and Beyond by Wes Howard-Brook [Amazon]
   Originally released in May 2012, this book goes through the entire narrative of Scripture connecting the dots of empire and imperialism and the Kingdom of God. Howard-Brook was a lawyer but left law to become a theologian at Seattle University, a Jesuit Catholic University. Though I don't know this for sure [as I'm too lazy to look it up], I believe that Howard-Brook and his wife are now Mennonites, which would totally fall in line with the content of his book.
3. Jesus and the Disinherited by Howard Thurman [Amazon] 
   It's unfortunate that you probably have never heard of Howard Thurman. Thurman's life is truly something remarkable. After growing up in the segregated south [b.1899], he graduated as the valedictorian of Morehouse College. He became a pastor and then the first dean of Rankin Chapel at Howard University. He helped found and pastor the first racially integrated, intercultural church in the United States. He then became the first black dean at Marsh Chapel at Boston University. He was profoundly influential on Martin Luther King, Jr. and other civil rights leaders while demonstrating what true racial diversity can look like in his life and career. This book was written in 1949.
4. The Evolution of Adam: What the Bible Does and Doesn't Say about Human Origins by Peter Enns [Amazon]
   The Evolution isn't a terribly long book at only 192 pages, but it's an important read to help clarify some rhetoric on the many sides of the cosmology debate that Christians have vigorously and admittedly maintained over the last few hundred years. Enns earned his Ph.D. at Harvard and teaches at Eastern University. This book was released in 2012.
5. The Parables of the Kingdom by Robert Farrar Capon [Amazon]
   This book dates back to 1985, when I was four years old. No one read it to me then, so I decided to read it at 31. This is the first book in Capon's parables trilogy. Capon's attempts to connect Christ's parables with the entirety of the narrative is commendable and even enjoyable to read. I found this book very helpful in better understanding the often misunderstood implications of the Kingdom parables of Christ. 
6. Living Gently in a Violent World: The Prophetic Witness of Weakness by Jean Vanier & Stanley Hauerwas [Amazon]
   The Bible makes all sorts of peculiar statements about the last becoming first and the weak becoming strong in God's economy. What does this mean? It's tough to believe that this is true when everything I see suggests that the strong become stronger and the weak become weaker. Hauerwas is an ethicist from Duke (now retired). Vanier founded the L'Arche Communities. The do a great job at exploring this tension. This book was written in 2008.
7. The Longing for Home: Reflections at Mid-Life by Frederick Buechner [Amazon]
   You can pick this book up on Kindle for $.99. It is a collection of some thoughts and essays by Buechner first published in 1996. Buechner talks about home being twofold: the place that we remember and the place that we dream about. This book served a purpose as we were fighting some of my health issues this year. 
8. Community That Is Christian by Julie Gorman [Amazon]
   Gorman's book is a primer for small groups in churches, but it's really much more than that. It's about the nature of community and how relationships are formed. I'm a bit skeptical of one-size-fits-all small group models. This book helped solidify some thoughts on the importance of community and how to organically handle and foster community development in a place like State Street. This book was written in 2002.
9. Theirs is the Kingdom: Celebrating the Gospel in Urban America by Robert Lupton [Amazon]
   We feel a sense of calling and vocation to the urban center of our small city. It's a transient and difficult area to work that often leaves us with frustrations and challenges. Lupton's words were encouraging and hard to read. They challenged the status quo of how ministry is done in urban arenas. They also gave hope that, though the Church has sought to abandon these areas, Christ has not. It's a good read for those passionate about ministry at the center of the city. This book was written in 2010.
10. Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs-Christians Debate by Justin Lee [Amazon]
    I read this at the same time that our book club read Jeff Chu's "Does Jesus Really Love Me?" with our book club at church. Both seek to tackle a difficult question; how will the church proceed in a complex world with complex questions about the nature of human sexuality? It's no secret that the Church has not handled these questions well in the past. So much hate and division has happened that looks nothing like Christ. I found both books to be a breath of fresh air in this debate. This book was written in 2012. 

OK. It's your turn. What books/music/movies/albums did I miss that I should check out? Maybe it'll make my 2014 list. 

Distracted After Four Weeks

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On the way to drop my daughter off at school this morning, we were going through our traditional morning chat; telling stories, counting numbers, rhyming words, etc. A few minutes from the school and Nora interrupts the conversation, "Dad, I want to tell you something. [she gives the most serious pause] I'm really proud of you and I'm glad you're going to be healthy again. I really love you.” It was just four weeks ago today they took out the lower lobe of my right lung and a 5x9 centimeter mass of sequestered lung tissue. We have really tried to protect the kids throughout this season of ill health. They’ve stayed with only a few select people to maintain a sense of continuity and security. We’ve been open and honest with them about what is causing my health issues. Yet, you can never know how much of an emotional experience a one year old, three year old, and five year old can absorb. How are they processing it?

When I awoke this morning I started thinking about the things that I though about right before I fell asleep; the problems that arise at a job when someone is absent for a few months, the sermons that need to be developed and thought about, the lack of knowledge of certain areas that should be remedied, how I haven't led well in the last season, etc.  On top of this, I think about the friendships that I’ve not properly nurtured and the people in my life that haven’t gotten the best of me in the last few weeks, months, and even years. My grandfather told me not long before he passed, "Nate, we [the Loucks family] are our own worst enemies. There's no one that disappoints us more than ourselves. But we're especially bad to ourselves right before bed." We are existential cannibals that eat ourselves alive. Perhaps it's that we are reminded that there is only so much time to live life and too much life to be lived. 

Who knows what was going through my daughter’s mind this morning that she would find it necessary to remind me of my value to her. Nothing in our conversation was leading to that point being made. It was more about what rhymes with "clouds" and "snow" and "car." But, ever since she opened her heart this morning to her dad, I haven’t stopped being grateful.

For her. 
For my sons. 
For my wife and her compassion and care.
For my friends who I see often and those I haven’t seen in too long.
For the doctors that have given of their time to see that I get many more years with my family. 
For the cold air I felt in my lungs when I stepped outside.
For the warm coffee that contrasted the cold air. 
For our old house that gives us shelter from the cold. 
For yesterday. 
For today.
For Christ.  
For life. 
For love. 

Today is four weeks since my surgery and without my daughter, I would have been too busy to notice. What a fool I can be. I hope one day Christ will resurrect my subconscious enough to allow me to not always have laser-like focus on tomorrow and to allow today to be good enough. These moments will never be able to be lived again. If that day never happens, I’m grateful for a little girl that brings me back into today’s reality and lessens the anxiety of tomorrow. There will always be things to fix, brokenness perpetuates itself. Today I'm not going to allow the brokenness of this world rob me of the ability to see the signs of grace I have been given. 

The 5 Books I [Re-]Read the Most

​I love to read. I try to read a new book every two weeks on top of the multiple commentaries and sources I read preparing to teach at State Street. I love reading with other people as well. This is why we started our book club at State Street where 10+ other State Streeters wrestle through different ideas and theological opinions together. 

But, I often find myself re-reading books that I really enjoy. When I find something I like, I tend to be dedicated to that source for life. There are certain movies and music that I have listened to consistently for the last 15 years. I liked them then, I still like them now. So, what are the five books that I re-read the most? Here's my list:​

1. Resident Aliens: A Provocative Christian Assessment of Culture and Ministry for People Who Know that Something is Wrong by Stanley Hauerwas & Will Willimon

--> When did I first read Resident Aliens? ​I read it for the first time in 2005 upon the suggestion of my friend Dave Cramer (who recommends most of the great books that I have read)

--> Favorite quote?  “The basis for the ethics of the Sermon on the Mount is not what works but rather the way God is. Cheek-turning is not advocated as what works (it usually does not), but advocated because this is the way God is — God is kind to the ungrateful and the selfish. This is not a stratagem for getting what we want but the only manner of life available, now that, in Jesus, we have seen what God wants. We seek reconciliation with the neighbor, not because we feel so much better afterward, but because reconciliation is what God is doing in the world through Christ.”

--> Interesting fact? This was the first book I ever read by Stanley Hauerwas. Since this time, Hauerwas' writings have had a profound effect on my theological convictions. 

2. The Challenge of Jesus by N.T. Wright

​--> When did I first read The Challenge of Jesus? 2005. I remember reading this book sitting outside at Lamb's Chapel. You know it's a good book when you can remember the exact place you were sitting when you read it. This isn't my 'favorite' Wright book, but it's the one I re-read the most. 

--> Favorite quote?  “The radical hermeneutic of suspicion that characterizes all of post-modernity is essentially nihilistic, denying the very possibility of creative or healing love. In the cross and resurrection of Jesus we find the answer: the God who made the world is revealed in terms of a self-giving love that no hermeneutic of suspicion can ever touch, in a Self that found itself by giving itself away, in a Story that was never manipulative but always healing and recreating, and in a Reality that can truly be known, indeed to know which is to discover a new dimension of knowledge, the dimension of loving and being loved.” 

--> Interesting fact? The first Wright book I have read. Like Hauerwas, he has had tremendous influence in my life. I also bought this book at a Bargain Books in Mishawaka. 

3. The Doors of the Sea: Where Was God in the Tsunami? by David Bentley Hart

​​--> When did I first read Doors of the Sea? 2012. Another book recommended by David Cramer. I was preparing for a series on theodicy and the problem of pain/evil. Dave strongly recommended that I read this book by Hart. Hart is an Eastern Orthodox scholar that really brought some clarity to a difficult topic. Though the subtitle is about the horrific tsunami in 2004, this book is about so much more.

--> Favorite quote?  "For, after all, if it is from Christ that we are to learn how God relates himself to sin, suffering, evil, and death, it would seem that he provides us little evidence of anything other than a regal, relentless, and miraculous enmity: sin he forgives, suffering he heals, evil he casts out, and death he conquers. And absolutely nowhere does Christ act as if any of these things are part of the eternal work or purposes of God."

--> Interesting fact?  I read this three times last year. Fortunately, it's not long.

4. A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis

​​--> When did I first read A Grief Observed? 2012. I read this upon the suggestion of my friend Ben Mannix. He suggested that I engage more with Lewis as he believed that I would enjoy his writings. This was another book that I referenced quite a bit in our series on theodicy; [Skubala] Happens.

--> Favorite quote(s)?  "Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not ‘So there’s no God after all,’ but ‘So this is what God’s really like. Deceive yourself no longer.’" AND "Talk to me about the truth of religion and I’ll listen gladly. Talk to me about the duty of religion and I’ll listen submissively. But don’t come talking to me about the consolations of religion or I shall suspect that you don’t understand."

--> Interesting fact?  I sat in Rocky Mountain Cafe and bawled my eyes out as I read this book. For those that haven't read it, this is Lewis' thoughts about the death of his wife and the subsequent accompanying grief. Heart-wrenching! But, so good. 

5. Journey to the Common Good by Walter Brueggemann

​​--> When did I first read Journey to the Common Good? 2008. Not sure what brought me to Brueggemann. I just remember being entranced by his writing. Brueggemann consistently challenges me to believe and practice the peculiar vocations of the church. ​

--> Favorite quote?  "The most elemental passion of the prophetic tradition assumes that evangelical faith has little to do with private piety and everything to do with the systemic maintenance of a humane infrastructure."

--> Interesting fact?  ​I actually used some of the ideas of scarcity in a series on Acts 2:42 from this year. This book is referenced quite a bit in my teaching. 

​So, what about you? What books (outside of the scriptures) do you find yourself reading over and over again? I have a few more I could list but this is probably the most accurate top-5 I could name.

32 Reasons that I Love my Wife [on her 32nd Birthday]

My wife turns 32 today. April will mark our ten year anniversary of being a couple. June will mark our eight year marriage anniversary. These times together have been the most fun and lovely that I have ever had. She is the most creative, beautiful, and remarkably complicated individual that I know. She has my heart.

I love her.

I love her so much.

I thought, because it's her birthday and I don't do enough gushing about my wife, I would create a list of the 32 things I love most about her.

1. If she were a president, she would be Baberham Lincoln.
2. When she agreed to marry me, she said 'yes' to our future life. Implied in that answer was also saying 'no' to a return to her home country with her family. Every day I'm thankful that she agreed to marry me but I'm also cognizant of those things she turned away for me.
3. She was an art major in college. Before coming to America [Eddie Murphy style], she was accepted and attended a prestigious art institute in Bucharest as a fashion design major. Her favorite art activities? Being creative with Nora and Finn. She's a mom before an artist.
4. She's a great mom. She often tells me about the incredible mother that she had. Sadly, her mom was defeated by cancer two years before Ema and I met. Everything that Ema describes to me about the way in which her mother loved well, I see in my wife. She loves our children in deeply profound and beautiful ways. 
5. She will eat more sunflower seeds than any baseball player you'll ever meet. Seriously. It's safe to say that, in the time we've been married, she's eaten over a million sunflower seeds. I buy her a bag every few days. 
6. She listens to great music; Noah and the Whale, Paul Simon, the Foo Fighters, and Bruce Springsteen to name a few. 
7. In fact, she listens to music more than she watches television. If you know how much I LOVE music, you know this is an incredibly attractive trait. 
8. She's a robo-babe. In Latin, she would be called "babia majora".
9. She lets me make her mix cd's. She even listens to them. 
10. If Martha Stewart was ever looking for a replacement with reputable stock exchange ethics, my wife should be it. She cooks, sews, crochets, and knits really well. She makes quite a bit of Nora's dresses. They are always Nora's favorites. 
11. She started an Etsy site. She has sold nearly 1,000 hats online (and probably 500+ in stores and in person). It's the intersection of her creativity and entrepreneurship. She runs it all.
12. She has never judged me. Or, if she has, she never made me feel judged. She's one of the most loving and gracious people I know. 
13. She loves Jesus.
14. When we were in college, she knew of my love of Notre Dame. After a few months of dating, she took me to my first Notre Dame football game. After college, when she was working as a promotions coordinator at a television station, we were able to sit in the media tent before a Notre Dame game. I sat next to Dick Vitale. She has sent me to many Notre Dame games. She's cool like that.
15. NORA: she gave birth to the greatest little girl in the world. Nora wants to be just like her mommy.
16. FINLEY: she gave birth to Finn and she cuddles with him daily. Finn tells him mom (almost hourly) that he loves her. It will be tough for a girl to capture Finn's heart away from his mom.
17. HARRY: she gave birth to Harry. We don't call him Harry Pouter for nothing. She loves him well and still finds him to be cute.
18. She is compassionate. Before she had Harrison, she volunteered each week at the State Street food pantry. Though she's not an extrovert, she served in a role normally given to the more vocal members of our volunteer team. She prayed and encouraged people each week. Often she was left with a heavy heart because of the plight of some of our clients.
19. She's a fox. In French, she would be called "la renarde" and she would be hunted with only her cunning to protect her.
20. She loves her grandparents. We both share a common bond with our grandparents. One of the most difficult parts about being thousands of miles away from her family is that she hasn't spent enough time with her grandparents over the last 12 years. 
21. She misses her mom and loves her dad. 
22. She loves her siblings. She even loves my siblings. 
23. I have never once witnessed her put her needs before our kids. She's tremendously sacrificial in her love for them. I hope one day they'll realize that they won the mother lottery. I intend on reminding them of that regularly. 
24. I love her laugh. It fills me with so much joy. 
25. She's very intelligent. We were in college at the same time but she won the GPA battle (and it wasn't even close). She understands a ton of different things on deeper levels; biblical literature, art history, celebrity baby names, and even has a keen grasp of young adult fiction. She's totally a Twi-Hard. Wait… she really IS intelligent, though. 
26. She has an uncanny ability at guessing celebrity ages. For example, we will be watching a movie and I will quiz her about the ages of certain celebrities in the movies. She has to guess the ages within two years to get it correct. I haven't kept an official tally but, if pressed, I would guess that she has a 90% or higher accuracy. It truly is uncanny.
27. She has never cussed in Romanian. In English… maybe. ;-)
28. She is friends with the same people that she met when she came abroad. She's loyal to them. 
29. She's not vain. She reminds me often about the things that matter most to us; our faith, our family, and sunflower seeds. 
30. I have never once regretted a day of being married to her. She's a constant in our ever-changing life. The older I get, the more I come to terms with the idea that I just might be nuts. She still loves me. 
31. She cried because she couldn't go to a Michael Jackson concert in 1992. Jackson was visiting Bucharest. I, too, spent much of my youth idolizing MJ.
32. She's magically babelicious.